Christopher Dallman
Musician and Director of Human Resources for a small, progressive restaurant group that is most famous for its pie.
Where were you raised?
I was raised in Milwaukee, WI. I left for 20 years and lived in Boston, NYC, and Los Angeles. I moved back here with my husband Josh almost 9 years ago!
Has the landscape of that place influenced your work in any way?
The Midwest is very bleak in the winter and bursts with life in the summer. The landscape in the winter lends itself to introspection. I write and record so much music in the cold months. In the summer, we are free and usually outside to make the most of the few months of warmth. We are less in our heads. I like to release music during the warm months! I am introverted and private in the winter, more extroverted and public in the summer, definitely in part due to the landscape and climate.
Do you collect anything?
I collect vinyl records. In the last year I have fallen in love with jewelry and have begun to collect that! I’m wearing 4 rings and 3 necklaces right this moment. I go a little overboard with it but stop shy of, like, Johnny Depp.
What was the last thing that you fell in love with?
Pop music. At 43, I am queer with no fear, but for the first 40 years of my life I did everything I could to try and blend in with/absorb heterosexual culture. So, my “favorites” in music or film or fashion were chosen to serve that goal and not because I naturally responded to them. It’s only at this age and in this current cultural moment when I feel free to love something because of how it makes me feel and not because of how it maintained a certain image in my community’s eyes. I love the very best of ALL genres of music, but Pop is new for me. I love Pop with depth, I love Pop with no depth. I love it all.
What do you love most about yourself?
I used to say my resilience, but now I don’t cherish that so much. Now I love my vulnerability and the authentic connections with people that grow from sharing my softness. Sharing your vulnerability inspires others to do the same and it’s just beautiful.
What is your favorite smell? How does it make you feel? Or what memory does it bring you toward?
Coffee brewing. It fills me with the desire to LIVE. It is the very beginning of day, every single day. My dogs do not go outside until I have had a full cup. I have given up booze and cigarettes and most “vices”. Coffee is my last one and I cherish it. It reminds me of my mother; She and I are the typically always up for a cup, even at night or at odd moments in the day.
Is there a place or activity that helps you to access (magic/ love/ god/ spirit/ the universe/ mother nature/ higher self/ the divine/ a power greater) than yourself?
Making music. At its best, I don’t judge myself during its creation. I am out of my body and out of my brain and just DOING and connecting with my higher self. Creativity is its own universe, its own place that is not spoiled by the earth. Whether the result is a great song or a terrible one, the act of creating it - following the path without judgement - is always rewarding.
What book are you reading?
The truth is that when I gave up booze after 25 years of heavy, heavy drinking, sobriety unmasked some pretty wild ADHD. I’m still learning to manage it and, at the moment, it’s nearly impossible for me to read more than a paragraph without realizing I have no idea what I just read because my brain went to a dozen other places than the page.
For this reason, when I DO read, it’s typically short fiction. My favorite writer is Lorrie Moore and my favorite book of hers is a collection of short stories called Self-Help.
The next book I aim to read is a collection called Yes, Yes, Cherries by Mary Otis.
What object do you hold most dear?
I have a photograph of my husband on the subway in NYC when we were in our early 20s. My favorite kind of train car – the seats in shades of orange, grouped in twos and threes - not the kind of car with blue/grey long benches. He is laughing in the photo and it’s so well captured that when I look at it I can HEAR him and feel his joy fully. I miss actual photographs. When you didn’t know what you were going to get until you got the film developed. Nowadays, we get to take photo after photo until we get it “right” and, while there is value in that – I love a good selfie – back in the day you rolled the dice and it was so special when you got a good one. Think of how many terrible photos we had!
If you could change one thing about our world, what would it be? Is there an individual or an organization doing work in this area that you want us to know about?
If I could change one thing it would be the fear that forces us to strictly adhere to gender norms and reject humans who express outside of their rigid boundaries. I have discovered that the authentic me takes from the masculine and feminine equally to create my identity. But I am a white, cisgender man in a queer-friendly community of my own creation who has the privilege of exploring my gender expression without fear of violence or real-life ramifications of anyone’s judgement.
I love having painted nails and am far too sloppy to ever paint them myself. I remember how scared I was to go to the nail salon for my first manicure. Nothing compared to the courage and resilience required of those with less privilege, in less forgiving communities, who present further outside of norms than just a dude with Tiffany blue fingernails. I just want us all to be able to explore who we are without FEAR.
A person who does important, public work in this field is Alok Vaid-Menon,. I follow their Instagram and learn from it every day! https://www.instagram.com/alokvmenon/
If I was not afraid, I would...
…Start performing music live again. I have a home studio and record all by myself in there. I haven’t done a live show in 9 years. I stopped when I left Los Angeles because the anxiety that I carried leading up to each show was debilitating and after 20 years of DOING IT ANYWAY I was utterly depleted and gave up music altogether, both writing and performance. It rekindled on my own terms when I stopped drinking 3 years ago and those terms were that I make it privately and share it online whenever I want. Which has been a beautiful experience. Hopefully I can healthily return to the stage someday, but if not, that’s fucking OK, too!
All images courtesy of Christopher Dallman
