Jenny YEAR TWO !!!
Founder What I Loved, and please stand by.
I do not want to answer these questions. I am not currently very interested in checking in. I am somewhere outside my self, waiting. I am ready to let my guard down and/ also I am tired from having to keep it up for so long. I am on Power Save mode, and not sure what will be waiting for me when I double click back to life. I long for life, for the chaos of touch, of sitting thigh to thigh with a stranger on the subway, the soundtrack of restaurants and also, suddenly it feels so overwhelming. So here I am in the nowhere space in between where I’ve been and where I am going, and this is my snapshot. Here I am at the beginning of Spring, budding, but not yet in bloom.
I will never ask you to do anything I will not do. So… What I Loved Questions. Year Two. Some questions are the same; some questions are different, just exactly like real life.
xo
Where were you raised? Has the landscape of that place influenced your work in any way?
I was raised in the Hudson Valley. I am from Rhinebeck, NY. I used to smoke cigarettes with my best friends on the rocks of the river and watch the sun rise over the mountains. I have memorized the turns on River Rd in my brain stem, drank frozen cappuccinos from Samuels on town benches since the 90’s, sat mesmerized by Independent films from around the world at Upstate Films from the age of six or seven. A year ago I wrote about the impact of The Hudson Valley’s earth on my life and work, but this year I am in awe of the romance of it. I think I got my sense of romance and beauty and story and deep feeling from this magic land.
If you are interested in watching me become enraged, you can start talking to me about all the cool new stuff that is opening, happening upstate. Full on evil temper tantrum vibes. I am working on it. The progress is going very slowly.
Do you collect anything?
Too many things!!! When my parents died I needed collections to scaffold my broken heart while it was under construction. Now I need to let go to expand, but I am shit at letting go.
I used to hate HEARTS, I thought that they were too girly and mushy and basic. But now I absolutely LOVE them! I was just too scared to touch my vulnerability (and power, shh). I collect hearts. Mother Nature is bursting with hearts! I know to keep going when I see one - they are my confirmation; they are my wink from universe.
An average heart beats 100,000 times a DAY! That’s 100,000 expansions and contractions in a DAY, openings and closings, deaths and new beginnings. Hearts are immense power and endurance - they can endure so many breaks and keep on pumping, so yeah, hearts are badass. No heart, No living.
I collect hearts. I will collect yours if you’ll let me.
What was the last thing that you fell in love with?
I mean Colleen Herman paintings, ALWAYS. A lavender fluorite tower from Sacred Light that is stunning. The Camellia forest at Descanso Gardens every single year stuns me.
But I think that what I have really been falling in love with is my self in a new way, in a very private and nervous that I am doing it all wrong kinda way. I am falling in love with the possibility of living this life as my self, not as who I think that I am supposed to be, not in a way that is cool or special or marketable or always palatable, just me, Jenny Davis.
What do you love most about yourself?
People told me that this was the hardest question for them to answer. I wish that I could ask, What are the top five things that you love about yourself? And that it would be easy to answer! It is my wish that we stop thinking that we are not supposed to like/ love ourselves. I am a reformed (kinda) tormentor of the self. I understand how that self part is cunning and powerful and can creep in through the cracks of our fears, but it IS NOT WORTH living your life with an abuser in your own head. I am also reminding myself to LAY IT DOWN, walk away, call for help.
So, today, I love that I never stop searching/ working to remove the sticky dark parts of me that keep me from my own intuition, you and my source. I love that I am curious. I love that my heart has been shattered, and I still try to use it to love.
Is there a place or activity that helps you to access magic/ love/ god/ spirit/ the universe/ mother nature/ higher self/ the divine/ a power greater than yourself?
Laughing with my closest friends feels like as close as I’ll ever really get to magic
Sunrise and Sunset
FLOWERS
Hawks and Hummingbirds
On Sundays I LOVE to drive up to Ojai for flowers from Night Heron Farm, followed by the beach in Carpinteria. I love the feel of the ocean on my feet and the intense focus of searching for sea shells. I love singing songs in the car and driving past 40MPH. Some Sundays I don’t go because it seems frivolous and unproductive, but I always find myself more invigorated for the week ahead. I’m all NO - the universe is all YES.
What book are you reading?
Wintering by Katherine May
The Gift - 12 Lessons to Save your Life by Dr Edith Eger
Dusk Night Dawn by Anne Lamott
It’s not your Money by Tosha Silver
Being Ram Dass
Untie the Strong Women by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
What object do you hold most dear?
Two necklaces; an amethyst pendant from my mother and a Nantucket basket from my grandmother. They are my talismans. They are my reminders.
If you could change one thing about our world, what would it be? Is there an individual or an organization doing work in this area that you want us to know about?
No more Hate Crimes. Period. No more killing. Period. No more ignoring White Terrorism. Period.
We need more accessible trauma healing. I think The Loveland Foundation is a start to that. Elaine Miller - Karas founded The Trauma Resource Institute and trains in personal (TRM) and community based resourcing (CRM) to assist communities facing trauma learn how to heal themselves.
And also, it breaks my heart that kids are hungry, everywhere, all over the world. We are destroying our land for food and we cannot even feed our children. It should be a priority that we are all fed. We cannot have the Kardashians, untaxed corporations and starving children - it is not a good look. www.nokidhungry.org
If I was not afraid, I would…
Put my own needs before the needs of others, so that I can be of more heart centered and effective service.
Open my window and give more people money.
Ride a horse.
Stand up Paddle Board on Maui.
Sing more power ballads at Karaoke.
Let my soul make a mess of my life.
Probably Audition, but let’s pretend I didn’t say that one.
Let go of all the Shoulds that no longer serve me/ never served me.
Be more KIND.
Be more GENEROUS.
Well, now I feel better. I always feel better when I take the time to check in with myself. I just always forget.
I love you. Thank you for your participation and witnessing over the past year.
Xo Jenny
